Note: Would anyone make a series called “Desperate house husbands” with lots of sexy queers? I really need a job and a break from all these dramas!

Could anything be better? Oh, of course, my dear brother-in-law picked his whining boyfriend and in return handed us our precious daughter who unfairly was taken hostage.

So nothing could go wrong and I really didn’t mind leaving father and daughter at home and go to the church. After all it was a perfect day with no evidence of approaching drama.

WRONG!!!!!

So gayly (dear queers, gay means happy) I came home and there was no sign of K or A, totally gone without a single note. Although K is most of the times irresponsible and forgetful so it’s typical of him to not leave a note behind, A always makes sure to give me a call.

I called his phone and unsurprisingly it was left under the pillow. If you are wondering what the hell was it doing there, I can say K uses his phone as some kind of vibrator

After spending a long time looking for the invisibles, a sweaty K and an excited A appeared with the latest kind of a drama, the lost hurt pigeon.

Where they found that box and how my beloved allergic husband managed to catch the poor helpless bird is a mystery but even K can be a good dad when he has to (FYI: he spent half an hour telling me how the little pigeon scratched his uber-sensitive skin and how he could feel the invisible rashes itching!)

Now we have a new pet, an orphan-probably gay- pigeon, two turtles and a fish. We are willing to accept homeless cats/dogs/hot naked guys.

They saved the poor bird from death but it’s my additional chore to clean the mess and feed the bird.

Thank God it likes wheat.

Btw if you are a helpless lost cute pet in need of a superqueer to come to your rescue, leave me a message, I’ll do my best.

The most important part is how to deal with those issues or compartmentalize them. Which one is important? Which one to deal first?

Do I have to come out first? Do I need to find a guy before taking a step out of the closet? Do I have to let my family know before anyone else?

Is it that important to tell my boss and colleagues? Am I bi? When is the proper time to date? What do I need to know about the guy I’m interested in?

Are all the hot guys straight or taken? Is that stud boyfriend material? What’s the perfect outfit? How am I supposed to ask a guy out?

Should I start with random dates and then look for a longterm relationship? Do I want kids with this guy?

and the story goes on and on, if you look carefully many of those questions come to anyone’s mind gay or straight so it’s not a gay issue. Even when you get passed all those things, you start your family, have the perfect guy, have a kid or two, find a job and all those things many people dream of there is always a “but” or an “if only”

He’s a good guy but he smokes. If only he wanted sex as much as I did.

He has a decent job but he doesn’t like sharing the bills. He’s not that bad but he’s be more handsome with more defined abs.

If only I dated that doctor guy. If only he had a yacht.

and it’s the same old story there, whining wife, bored husband, low income….. the end? well break up! Even divorce in some states.

So here I am, listening to my may-be-future-in-law complaining about his parents not accepting his boyfriend or claiming they are too young to marry or settle for a long term relationship or whatever.

Parents are parents, to be honest I can understand them to some extent, they love their kid and worked hard to embrace their gay son, that’s the farthest they can go for now. Marriage? Commitment? That’s a lot.

Many parents freak out hearing their teenage girl knocked up by some random guy from school. It definitely is not the future they plan for their offspring so it’s not that hard to imagine how they would feel when some random guy sweeps their only child off his feet. Not only making him move hundreds of miles away but ask for their blessing. This is not the big plan, not even close to it. So as a parent I can see why they are so against it.

My brother-in-law is a good kid, honest, fun and cute. That’s where all the good things end, he’s not responsible and definitely a dreamer completely relying on his brothers.

This won’t work. I know I’ve said it a lot and they proved me wrong by staying together over two years, still being someone’s boy friend is one thing, being a life time partner is another story.

I’m so not gonna help them because

1. I agree with P’s parents

2. K2 is totally irresponsible and you can never count on him

3. A 23 year-old-man acting like a moody teenager is not the kind of person you can rely on

4. P can do a lot better. K2 is my brother-in-law and I love him dearly BUT he’s such an arrogant brat.

5. I’d rather have A back with us, having limited sex in the bedroom than have P here whining all day and having no sex at all! (I’m only being a wuss!)

So no more queers, can I talk to a straight couple for a while. All these gay people make me sick! (Homophobic hormones kicking in!)

The excruciating boredom is so unbearable I
can feel the useless parts of my existence turn
into chunks and suffocate the life running
through my veins.
I choke on the sob blocking my airway, even
another deep breath can’t help me much.
“To be or not to be ?”
The silly meaningless question that good-for-nothing
Hamlet guy asked centuries ago.
I look at the thick wall built around me.
“Survival” the basic need for most beings.
“To live or not to live?”
Thousands of people are struggling against ugly
diseases on hospital beds.
“To end or not to end?”
Thousands of people are starving and still
desperately looking for a morsel of dirt to sooth
their hunger.
“To breathe or not to breathe?”
Thousands of children are holding wooden guns
in their bony hands to protect their younger
siblings.
“To stop or not to stop?”
Thousands of people are facing natural
disasters this very moment.
I’m choking, it’s ending and no one is stopping
this silly vicious circle.
“To die or not to die?”
Please blow my life candle, this numbness is
appalling my apathy and this apathy is fueling
my anthrophobic thoughts!

I keep on looking then when K & A are back we can go together.

This morning I got a call from my sister, not that I hadn’t talked to her recently or I didn’t expect to hear from her, it was just too early and I was in deep sleep.

Being a woman and faulty like the rest of them she gave me a full report of the funeral with all her wrong assumptions. The worst was about K. From what she said I thought we made the best decision of K and A going together. The picture of a perfect family with the couple mourning silently and the kid trying to figure out what the big fuss was about. Some people can’t understand the definition of death for a 6-yr old kid is very different from all the surrounding adults. Her grandfather’s gone. That’s all. She will cherish the memories later but for now she may think he’ll be back or he’s somewhere out there. She has no idea what’s wrong with all those people expressing their condolence to her shocked mom who can’t even cry or to her dad that looks like shit as if it was his own father he lost. (But we all know he looks like shit naturally )

I’d heard all of this but G told me something new. “Did you know K slept with M?”

I was like, WTF! Are you talking about my K? Sleep with as in sharing the same bed for just sleeping or as in having sex?

Apparently people talk and they are sooooooooooo stupidly blind. Those non-existent relatives who had no idea who fathered M’s sweet girl, at last met the guy in flesh and decided to open their ugly mouths and gossip. How can two people who have nothing in common get back together? Were they blind to see that simple ring around K’s finger?

I almost burst out laughing at how my very own sister believed such meaningless words. On a scale of 1-10, I give 13 to K for being gay. The guy hasn’t used his cock and hasn’t been intimate with a woman for so long that I doubt he can remember how a man and woman can have sex (EEWWWW).

Still I can’t blame them, they saw the three of them going to the very same bedroom because there weren’t any rooms left for K and A to sleep in; however I know the rest of the story since I was the one talking to my emo husband until 3:00 AM, lying on his hotel room trying to cry himself to sleep and worrying me to death.

Last night he was so unstable I would have gone and hugged him if I could, just to protect him from his demons.

This morning I’m only waiting for them to come back. This funeral was the last straw for K, he hit the bottom head first and now he’s bouncing his way up. I called him after talking to my sister and he sounded hoarsely better. The smart ass bunny was back with his dark sarcasm making fun of some silly relatives of M.

It seems life can get a little normal for us. Probably it’s time for me to throw some of these rocks into the ocean and move on!

So the current situation is this:
A’s grandfather is almost dead, it’s not even the case of when or who unplug his life, it’s a matter of arranging stuff!
K’s heading to Denver in a day or two, meanwhile I stay here and go apartment hunting.
That’s plan A.
Plan B is about letting A see her grandfather for the last time. The last image of him would be an old sick dying body on a hospital bed with many machines making frightening sound.
In that case I have to drive all the way to NY and pick her up then jump on the first available flight.
Plan C, well I go with K and let A stay with her uncles. But I don’t like this one and I have a few reasons. The most important one is that I’ll be the other guy, the guy who is fucking her ex. Imagine a funeral with all the heads turning to your way and the throng whispering eewww he’s the EX, poor girl, not only she lost her dead but also the disgusting ex’s fuck buddy is here too. That’s so unacceptable.

So here I am deciding for people who did me no wrong.
Should I let K go on his own and worry myself to death because he’s a tiny step away from losing his sanity?
Should I let A say goodbye to her beloved and only grandfather and suffer the last image or let her cherish the old memories of the lively happy him?
Should I accompany K and make his ex suffer more than necessary?
………
I wonder if any of those are my decision to take?!

I either can’t sleep or there are too many nightmares that in the morning I am more exhausted than rested.

Will I ever get my life back? Apparently not, or not until I get rid of this sack of potatoes from the past, or was it rocks, Mark?!

ZZZZZ, I just dreamed of pillow making love to me. Damn you K, please get a grip man. I so much miss my bunny!

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